WESTERN CONFERENCE: The Suns Shall Also Rise

1. Phoenix- Though clichéd, anything short of the NBA Finals would be a disappointment. No prob. A hyper Steve Nash, heated Shawn Marion and healthy Amare Stoudamire will make Grant Hill’s first year in the desert memorable.

2. San Antonio- 10 players on the roster of the NBA champ Spurs are over 30. If Tim Duncan, Mike Finley and Tony Parker (who’s an astute 25) keep balling like they have, who really cares what brand of dentures they use?

3. Dallas- We can’t put a finger on it, but we’re thinking the Mavs’ best days are behind them. Sure, Dirk Nowitzki is a handful. And yeah, we love Devin Harris as the full-time point man. But Dallas can’t touch the Suns or Spurs right now.

4. Denver- Still getting used to seeing Allen Iverson in a Nuggets jersey, right? If Carmelo Anthony and a healthy Kenyon Martin and Nene keep elevating their games, get used to seeing Denver near the top of the West as well.

5. Houston- You know Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming are the guys who fuel things in H-town. What you might not be aware of is that there’s another Rocket, Argentina’s Luis Scolia, who’s on the verge of taking off.

6. Sacramento- On paper, the Kings lineup (Mike Bibby, Ron Artest, Brad Miller) should be making headlines across the NBA. But we all know what a good-looking lineup and 50 cents gets ya— a copy of the morning Sacramento Bee.

7. Utah- Catch the flick Eastern Promises? Well, me neither. But if there’s anything to learn from the trailers it’s that you don’t mess with irritated Europeans. Trust, trade-seeking Andrei Kirilenko and respect-looking Mehmet Okur are quite perturbed.

8. Los Angeles Lakers- The never-ending drama that is the Lakers locker room was renewed for another season. Kobe Bryant, of course, will get the most face time. Andrew Bynum will see more cameras. Rookie Javaris Crittenton should cameo.

9. Golden State- Don’t think the stirring ride the Warriors took us on last spring was a joke. Stephen Jackson and Baron Davis are dead serious about contending in the Pacific again. Matt Barnes and rookie Brandan Wright still believe, too.

10. Memphis- The Hawks of the West—and I mean that in a good way. With proven talent (Pau Gasol, Mike Miller) and untapped potential (Rudy Gay, Mike Conley) abound, the Grizz might prove the sleeper of the conference.

11. New Orleans- The Saints’ Reggie Bush gets all of the headlines even though it could be argued that Hornet Chris Paul is the more valuable player in the Crescent City. He’ll further prove his worth by making this so-so bunch competitive.

12. Minnesota- You know how everything about that Caveman show exudes disaster? Well, this revamped squad (Gerald Green, Al Jefferson and Corey Brewer excluded) is in a similarly hairy spot. KG’s absence will take ages to get over.

13. Portland- Greg Oden’s season-killing injury sucks. Lamarcus Aldridge’s nagging aches hurt. A pain-free Brandon Roy is a monster. Martell Webster’s growth is scary. In a year, this team goes for blood in the postseason.

14. Los Angeles Clippers- At tragic times like these (Elton Brand and Shaun Livingston are likely out til Feb/March), one has to accentuate the positive. Beyond the underrated Al Thornton, however, the Clips don’t have any.

15. Seattle- This might be the only year the Pacific Northwest is blessed with wunderkind Kevin Durant’s presence, as the Sonics appear headed for Oklahoma City. It just bites that the team’s last season also has to be one of its worst.

NBA Finals: Phoenix over Detroit, 4-2