What in the NHL?
10 Ways to Make Hockey Enjoyable for the Masses

I’m not going to pretend I’m the biggest NHL fans here. Still, the ’07-08 season is about to face-off, so I thought it would be a great time an outsider like me chimed in on a sport many either love more than life or loathe like an ex-wife. Truthfully, I don’t hate the game. I just hate the fact the Stanley Cup playoffs got lower ratings last spring than the NCAA softball tournament. It doesn’t matter if you’re from Vancouver or Venice Beach. That just ain’t right. Here are 10 things NHL commissioner Gary Bettman should do to take his sport, at least, to the level of the IFC or maybe even the World Poker Tour. Hey, it’s a start!

1. Introduce Sidney to the World- You may not like everything about the NFL or NBA, but if there’s one practice the two leagues do extremely well it’s getting the mainstream on board with its stars. Everybody knows Peyton Manning and LeBron James. Hardly anyone outside of western Pennsylvania knows that sensational Penguin center, Sidney Crosby, became the first teenager in any of the big four sports to win MVP. He’s electric. He’s charming. He’s completely indistinguishable at Applebee’s. I’d change all of that right now.

2. Introduce the World to Hockey- Like soccer, rugby and David Hasselhoff, hockey just ain’t cuttin’ it here in the States. That’s no reason to give up. 5.8 billion other folk are looking to keep themselves occupied from October to May. So, starting with Europe, the League is actually thinking of expanding. Beyond the ridiculous jet lag for the Phoenix Coyotes, the idea might work. The NHL is testing England’s excitement with the season’s first two games being played at London’s glorious O2 venue. If all goes well, experiments in Paris and Munich won’t be far off.

3. Cool the Warm Front- Growing up, we remember watching passionate hockey in Hartford, Quebec and Minnesota. Then came the mid 90s and with it came a southward migration into Dallas and Atlanta. Yeah, we know that a lot of hockey transplants from the north live in Dixie now, but c’mon! The last three Stanley Cup champion cities –Tampa Bay in ‘04, Carolina in ‘06 and Anaheim this past year- should NOT be the same three from AAA’s top summer destination list.

4. The Icing Dynasty- Those Ducks that won the Cup a season ago likely won’t repeat. Last year’s heart (Teemu Selanne) and soul (Scott Niedermayer) are gone. But that’s nothing new. In fact, the last NHL organization to repeat was the ’96-97 and ‘97-98 Detroit Red Wings. For some new life to the sport, there needs to be a dominant force (ala the New England Patriots, San Antonio Spurs or Tiger Woods) to capture some headlines.

5. More Fights- Thank the heavens this one is already coming to fruition. If early preseason action is a respectable gauge, the fists will be flying like old times at a rink near you this winter. And to think, NHL officials actually thought more folks would follow the sport if they cut out 75% of the foolishness with fists. Hehehehehe. This is America, jack. We like our one-timers with smacks!

6. Less Eric Lindros- Thank the heavens this one is coming to a reality as well. We’ve heard since Bill Clinton’s first term that the the Dallas center from Ontario was going to change the complexion of the game. 15 years in, Lindros has had more concussions than all-star game appearances. Reports are coming in that this season could be Eric’s last. Awwwww. But hey, for every headline he’s no longer getting, somebody with something to actually contribute like young studs Washington’s Alexander Ovechkin or the Hurricanes’ Eric Staal can shine.

7. Give It a Night- The thing that’s really neat about football is that it’s understood that high school plays on Friday, college on Saturday and the pros go at it on Sunday. Of course, the NHL, with its 82-game schedule can’t just play on Saturdays or Sundays. But it can be more creative in its marketing. “Tussling Tuesdays” or “Friday Night Face-offs” in the second part of the season (giving the league time to adjust schedules like in the NFL) could brand a weeknight and generate excitement over the course of seven days.

8. Minority Report- Though baseball still has a ways to go, you’ve got to commend how it’s extending a hand to the Hispanic and African-American communities through various outreach programs. Some of hockey’s best young talents are black (Jarome Iginla at Calgary and Edmonton’s Anson Carter), but kids in the hood have no clue. There’s an untapped market, albeit a small one, in minority sectors. Hell, at least let the youth know the slapshot was created in the Coloured Hockey League in the early 1900s.

9. More Color in the Booth, too- Okay, having Charles Barkley or even Stephen A. Smith in the Versus Network studio probably isn’t the wisest idea. However, getting more talking heads like the legendary Don Cherry is genius. These kinds of in-your-mug personalities exude hockey’s panache and are gravitating forces for novice followers. Organize a few American Idol-style contests in cities like Buffalo or Sioux Falls to find some new energy for the booths.

10. Don’t Rule It Out- After the ’04-05 lockout season, the NHL amended a few rules with the hope that scoring would go up. It worked. In ’05-06. For some reason, a year ago scoring went down slightly and the overall pace of the game kinda tailed off. Tweak a lil here (bigger nets) and there (more shoot-outs) and make the game more exciting. This isn’t soccer here, people… Wait, nobody’s watching the games or reading my suggestions. Dang, maybe it is.

Semi-Fearless Stanley Cup Finals Preview: Detroit over Atlanta, 4-2