My Bad

I’m so damn tired of folks saying they “made a mistake” for all the stupid stuff they do. Michael Vick made a mistake electrocuting dogs. Dallas Cowboys assistant coach Wade Wilson made a mistake taking performance-enhancing drugs. L.A. Lakers owner Jerry Buss made a mistake driving his Benz down the wrong side of the street while drunk. I made a mistake flippin’ off the ass who cut me off on I-84 last week. Fellas, cheating on your wife is not a mistake. Bringing your wife home Cheetos when she actually said Cheez-its is. Peep the difference. A mistake, as defined by my old pals, Merriam and Webster, is “to blunder in the choice; to misunderstand the meaning; the identify wrongly.” None of that really applies to the stuff people at sports press conferences (and in Hollywood and Washington D.C.) often attempt to wiggle out of. Too often, guilty parties simply get caught doing something they know they aren’t supposed to be doing. Saying they “made a mistake” is their limp attempt at being accountable. Point blank. The mistake is that we keep thinking these f*ck ups are just, well, mistakes.