Miami Does Dallas

NS made it out to Big D for Game 6 –and what we hoped would be a Game 7- of the NBA Finals on Tuesday. The way the Mavs played in South Florida, you just knew they’d come out fired up in front of a rowdy, appreciative home contingent. And they do. Unfortunately, Dirk, JT and the rest run out of firepower by halftime. Yes, the game stays relatively close in the second half, but anybody with ABC and decent eyesight (Guess that excludes Danny Crawford and his questionable referee team) can see that Dallas’ will, and therefore the series, is shattered by the third quarter. Dwyane Wade is your most deserving series MVP. Alonzo Mourning and Gary Payton are two of your deserving trophy holders. The Nosebleed Section is your source for the lil’ things you may have missed during the live broadcast or ESPN recaps…

- Before the opening tip, the Mavericks’ PA announcer chants in his finest Dorothy voice, “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!” The crowd goes nuts.

- Walking around the American Airlines Center concourse, you see Super Cuts giving fans crazy, colorful hair styles, a silent auction of various sports memorabilia ($2000 for a George Bush Sr. Yale baseball jersey?!?) and a cardboard cutout of Josh Howard’s and Marquis Daniels’ orthodontist with the words “Win Free Braces” on it.

- The souvenir shop is absolutely stuffed (security can only let fans in once others leave) with folks buying hats, t-shirts and foam #1 hands. The coolest shirts? It’s a tie between “Nowitzness” (spoofing the Nike LeBron James ad) and “Dirk Is My Homeboy” (spoofing the Jesus ad).

- Mark Cuban is a techie. We all know that. So, it makes sense that he’d have fun with graphics and special effects and stuff. The man’s in-game entertainment crew goes all out for the Finals, as there is a different promo –an ‘Avery Johnson as Patton’ animation is hilarious- for nearly every stoppage of the clock.

- The promo guys are having so much fun, presumably, that they forget about the cheerleaders, who don’t make their first appearance onto the floor ‘til 3:55 left in the third quarter!

- Jerry Stackhouse, of course, was suspended for Game 5. His return in Game 6 is hyped like he was averaging 20 and 10 before he left when, in actuality, Stack was going for about 13 and 3. Still, there are “Stack is Back” newspapers clippings everywhere and even a corny Shaft-like song played in his honor.

- The Mavs fans’ energy is amazing! Not only do they applaud for every made bucket, rebound and favorable call, but they even clap non-stop for about two minutes during a timeout after one strong Dallas stretch.

- Jason “The Jet” Terry does this wacky airplane impersonation after many of his made shots. Folks love it! Too bad the young man struggles so mightily in the second half that his arms never take off again.

- After every officiating call that goes against the Mavericks, you hear an obnoxious “What?” just like Napoleon Dynamite does it on the DVD.

- The courtside, in-game entertainment guy calls this ’05-06 Mavs squad “The Greatest team in Mavs history.” Yeah, maybe so. But we’d still like to see those John MacLeod-coached teams in ’87 and ’88 tangle with Dirk and Co.

- When David Stern’s mug is shown on the jumbotron, he’s is booed like nobody’s business.

- There’s an ESPN banner for the upcoming reality boxing show The Contender. Damn, I thought that was cancelled, like, two years ago.

- The best fan sign? “Stop Global Warming. Beat the Heat!” Somewhere Al Gore is smiling…

- Look towards the rafters and you’ll see two retired Mavs, Rolando Blackmon and Brad Davis.

- Wait…Brad Davis?!?

- At halftime Cuban walks from his regular spot across the court to kiss his lady. Then he heads to the locker room like he just scored 12 points.

- During a timeout, they have this “Name That Tune” kind of game with four contestants. Contestant No. 2 kills it, getting like six of the 10 songs correct.

- While you’re watching Supreman Returns trailers on TV, the Mavs mascot is shooting t-shirts into the stands with what has to be the strongest gun ever used in an arena. It’s launching tees from half-court up to the 400 section—with ease.

- After JT’s last-gasp miss, the place empties at record-breaking speed.

- The few thousand who stay around for the award presentation are a mixture of those still in awe of Finals MVP D-Wade and those filled with hate who simply want to boo the Heat for winning on Dallas’ home turf.

- Of course, there are shirts, hats and mock front pages declaring Miami the World Champs, but what’s surprising are all the Wheaties boxes saying the same thing!

- When a champagne-drenched Pat Riley leaves the locker room to go talk to ESPN, he shouts, “This is a $105 tie!”

- When an equally-doused Dwyane Wade leaves the locker room to go talk to ESPN, he erupts, “This is the best champagne I’ve ever tasted. It tastes like Kool-Aid!”